So it's now Lent, that lovely time before Good Friday and Easter, where we examine our lives and consciously try not to sin and remember the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus gave. As such, we are also encouraged to sacrifice something during this period. Normally, it involves something that we really love, which is why it would be a sacrifice. However, this Lent, I am going to challenge myself by giving up complaining. Here's a few reasons why:

1. It's a waste of energy
If you're upset, it is cathartic to vent and complain a little. My friends and family have heard me complain about a certain few people and they even know the nicknames of the various characters involved. However, there came a point where I was simply tired of complaining to them about the related problems. Complaining once or twice was good enough to vent and just hear their perspectives of things. Complaining about the same thing over and over again is not going to make the problem disappear or resolve itself. Better to save the energy used to complain to do something about it instead.

2. It blinds you from the blessings in your life

Let's put things into a slight perspective: there will always be people who have better days/items/luck than you and the opposite is also true - there will always be people who have crappier days/items/luck than you. Rather than focus on the problem or the shit that happens, always remember that what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. Be grateful.

3. It's a waste of time
This is kinda related to the 1st point about complaining being a waste of energy. So...not only are you wasting energy complaining, you're also wasting your precious time AND your friend/family member's time. Unless you're seeking advice on how to tackle the issue. I'd rather spend the time used to complain to catch up with my friend's life, especially in this day and age where I see more of my friends' lives on social media than face-to-face. Also, the time used to complain could've been spent on trying to see the issue from other angles/perspectives. Only then are you able to know how to resolve the problem(s).

4. It encourages negativity
Do you find your blood pressure suddenly rising when you're in the midst of complaining? Can't imagine that's very relaxing and helpful for your mental health. What if you're listening to someone complain? That's not a conversation. It's just a one-sided verbal barrage. That said, I must emphasise that the occasional rant is helpful because this helps relieve stress BUT if you catch yourself complaining about the same thing over and over again, you do need to know that you're not exactly the life of the party and in fact, you may be draining the energy from others. It means that you:
a) have not gotten over the issue
b) have not taken steps to resolve the issue
c) like the sound of your own voice
d) are victimising yourself and this does not encourage you to take charge

This is going to be a huge challenge because it goes against my base human nature. Nonetheless, it is Lent and if I'm going to make a sacrifice, I might as well make it a real challenge and hopefully, this will go beyond Lent!

Those who have worked long enough will understand what I mean by the title.  Constant gossiping, spreading of rumours and backstabbing, some people just make office life a battlefield.  As if stress from the work itself isn't bad enough.

That's why I don't actively take part in office gossip and I don't spread news when I get them.  A colleague commented that I really kept a piece of news 'tight' when I was the 2nd person to know it.  I told her that it's because it wasn't my place to spread the news and it was up to the person himself who he wanted who to know.

However, not everyone is like me.  The more common behaviour is to begin passing messages through the grapevine.  Relish in the fact that he/she is the main source of office information.  Then there are the shit-stirrers who have nothing else better to do than to discuss and theorise why certain colleagues are _____ instead of getting the truth from the horse's mouth.

Why am I writing a post on office gossip and politics?  That is because I have been or am still a 'victim' of it.  I have experienced other kinds of politicking...with someone spreading rumours and gossip about me all the way in Hong Kong.  It's amazing how people believed those gossip when that ex-colleague didn't even work in the same country as me.  Honestly, I don't give a flying rat's arse about people talking about me but it really hurts when people aren't sympathetic and instead, think the worst of me.  I've been very open and honest but I do want my privacy to a certain extent.  I go on medical leave and hospitalisation leave because I am/was sick or am/was hospitalised! Just because other people take medical leave simply because they just don't feel like going to work does not mean that I am guilty of it.

Through all these experiences, I'm glad that I was brought up a Catholic and that I have learnt not to be a gossip monger.  Now I know why in Sunday School, the teachers kept emphasising that we shouldn't gossip.  The power of words is incredible and you'll never know the full effects of your words until something similar hits you.  As they say, karma is a bitch so be a good boy/girl and don't gossip.  Meaning, do not spread malicious or say mean things about others.  If you're on the other end (ie. listening to the gossip), tell yourself NOT to spread it further (if you've ever played the game 'telephone line', you'd know how 'information' gets screwed up) or stop it altogether by stating facts that you do know.  It's definitely not easy.  It's easier to be part of the whole gang and share 'information' at the water-cooler or cubicle.

Every time I hear gossip that doesn't seem totally true, I tell myself, "Is this going to affect me or the person in subject?" and then I try to get the full story.  If anyone asks me about it, I'll then be able to substantiate my 'claims' by backing it up with sources of information.  Nonetheless, I often save myself the trouble and go, "I only heard this but I'm not sure that it's true." or I don't care about the piece of news unless told to me by the actual person.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said, "Be the change that you wish to see in the world" so I'm starting with this topic - Office Politics.  Be with me and just stop it.  It's destructive and unnecessary.  If you don't get along with a colleague, so be it.  It's a personality clash, not a reason for you to talk bad about him/her to others.  Yes, there is a fine line between ranting to a colleague and talking bad so watch yourself.  Make your office life a more friendly one as we're all in the same pond of poo called work and work is stressful enough.

I did something rather narcissistic last night. I googled myself - Melissa Fann. And I am quite amazed that my AliveNotDead.com profile comes up as top!! Well...I went back to that profile and realised that it received more than 3000 views...wow. I'm completely amazed. The next most read blog post is the one called "A lot to blog about". Hey...for those who are reading my blog on Alive Not Dead, please come over here and look at my pretty blogskin!! LOL...yes, I am quite 无聊。

I think God doesn't want me to trade today. I woke up @ 12.30pm (errms....don't call me a pig because I usually sleep at 4am) and loaded my screens. Both EUR/USD and USD/JPY were flat. I really mean flat flat. So...I went off to eat lunch (or breakfast....whichever you think I ought to call it). Came back at 1.10pm and what do I see? BOTH mkts have moved!! USD/JPY went down by approximately 20 pips and the EUR/USD went up by 20 pips as well. Oh...guess what? Advice from Wince - my fx guru - is not to enter a trade once the MACD lines have crossed. So I didn't. But the USD/JPY just dropped another 20 pips while I'm typing this. #-__- I take it as a sign!!! He doesn't want me to trade today. Fine.

Ok...enough of the money chaser me. Let's move on to philantrophic Mel. I'm sure most of you guys have watched "Slumdog Millionaire" and are quite appalled at the slums in India. World Vision has an excellent mailer that was sent out yesterday. "Slumdog Millionaire" does show the poverty in India but its just a movie. Here's the real story (click on real story). You can sponsor a child and really help emancipate these children of the slums. If you can't really afford it, you can do what I did - purchase an item. I bought an umbrella from them because my previous one was broken. So I figured that I'd kill 2 birds with 1 stone! :) So...what are you waiting for??